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While at City Lights on Saturday, (must post about…

Posted by titusferguson on November 22, 2004

While at City Lights on Saturday, (must post about City Lights some time) I picked up the most hilarious book ever. It’s called “How to Be A Canadian” and is by Ian and Will Ferguson.

Its so funny I feel the need to post a part from it:

“As a fledgling Canadian, you will have to be extra-vigilant. There are lots of imposters out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement – and then carefully note the reaction:

Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L. , sitting there dressed only in my Standfelds and a touque at the time. And the Mountie, he’s all chippy and everything, calling me a “shit disturber” and whatnot. What could I say except “Chimo”!

If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they’re one of us. If, however, they stare at you with blank incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once.”

Isn’t that just great! Alright, loyal readers, what does it say?

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